I Knew It
by In Love With Prongs
Summary: <html><head></head>Dear Merlin, how do I save myself from this moment? I can't believe I did that. Say something, anything you say will be less awkward than keeping silent. "You smell really good." I should have just kept silent.  one-shot</html>


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. J.K. Rowling created everything that is good and holy and I am but a humble writer playing with her characters.**

Written in Lily's POV

**I Knew It**

We are patrolling that's all. It isn't like he is willingly spending time with me. He is just doing rounds because it is his duty as Head Boy. James used to want to spend time with me, but I don't think that's the case now.

He hasn't asked me out since last year. Maybe he does want to be just friends as was my proposal last Christmas. Maybe after getting to know me he doesn't think I'm the girl he thought I was. He certainly isn't the boy... (man?)... I thought he was. I was so wrong about him. He is selfless and good and sweet and I am so stupid. Why didn't I say yes before?

But his hand keeps accidentally bumping mine and with each brush my fingers tingle and I get goosebumps. How can _this_ boy/man possibly have this effect on me?

"Are you cold?" He asks as he takes off his cloak and drapes it over my shoulders. I'm overwhelmed with the scent of pine and parchment and James, it is enough to make me melt.

I pull the cloak toward my face unthinkingly and breathe in deeply. He laughs as my face turns bright red. Dear Merlin, how do I save myself from this moment? I can't believe I did that. Say something, anything you say will be less awkward than keeping silent.

"You smell really good." I should have just kept silent.

He is still chuckling but stops walking, this causes me to stop as well, as though we are attached.

"Lily, I don't want to ruin what we have now…"

He must be able to know that I am thinking about him in a romantic way. Quick apologize!

"I know, I'm sorry, I-"

We were talking at the same time then he trailed off while I continued my rambling.

"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for, this is me… I, er… I can't…"

"just thought that you could read my mind or something but now that I think about it if you could read my mind things would be different and I'm pretty sure I would know"

During this I didn't realize how close we got to each other. I looked up into his eyes afraid of what I might see. He might be mad at me for getting so close to him. Truthfully I can't tell what is in his eyes, I want to say hope.

I can't help but think about every imperfection he can see on my face

We stand like this, staring each other down, for the good part of a minute then all at once I realize what that is in his eyes and what he wants.

I tilt my chin upward placing my hands behind his neck. This is the farthest I can allow myself to go right now. I have to give him time to stop me. He looks mildly surprised.

I think back to his previous statement about not wanting to ruin what we have. How horribly wrong I am to begin this. He just said he doesn't want to ruin our friendship and I practically jump him.

He senses my panic; he must feel my pulse in my wrists on his neck. I should pull away but before I act he puts his arms around my waist and I feel it burn my skin through his cloak, my cloak, and my school shirt. He pulls me against him and I feel dizzy with the even closer proximity.

Somehow I still feel doubt, as though this might not be what he really wants.

"James, you don't have to if you don't want to… I mean don't feel bad for me if you—"

My feeble attempt to try to assure him that if he wants to back out now because he doesn't feel the same it will be okay was interrupted by him kissing the corner of my mouth. We both know that this will get me to shut up. I feel the exact print of his lips as though he hasn't stopped.

He is smirking at me and he is going to make me work for the real thing like I made him wait all these years.

Doubt still creeps in to my mind but I push it away and confidence rushes through me from some unknown place. I quickly latch to it, not knowing how long it will last, and back him slowly toward the wall. I stand on my toes and pull his head toward mine till our noses touch.

The smirk leaves his face and is replaced by shock. Perhaps he didn't think I would actually go this far. Excitement dances in his eyes before they flutter shut while I close the gap between our lips. They mold to each other perfectly.

It lasts only a second because I fear for my health, my blood pressure must be sky rocketing. My eyes are still closed and I hear him speak.

"That's it?"

My eyes snap open.

"That is all you give me after four years of chasing you?"

His voice sounds like he is trying not to show that his insides are doing a happy dance. I can tell that he is joking and couldn't be happier. Two can play at this game.

"Beggars can't be choosers, Potter, take what you can get."

"Can I have you?" He becomes suddenly serious.

"What?"

"Can I have you, all of you? Will you go out with me?"

I don't know what I was expecting. This is obviously the natural order of what is supposed to happen after I kiss him. So, why does my mouth open in shock and why is my mouth not working with my brain and heart which are both screaming 'yes, yes, yes'? His grin slowly slides off his face.

I imagine we must look very silly. He still pressed against the wall hands around my waist, looking upset. Me, with my arms around his neck, eyes wide, jaw dropped. I can't help but giggle a bit at the image. I see his face set as he roughly pushes me away.

"Yea, it's a good laugh isn't it Evans?" He tries to spit my name but it comes out as barely a whisper. "I don't know why I thought you would ever change your mind. I was even coming to accept that fact. But that was just cruel."

He starts walking away quickly toward the Gryffindor common room. Almost immediately I'm running to catch him up. I finally find my voice as he reaches the Fat Lady.

"Yes! James, wait, yes. Please, James, just stop for a second and yes!"

He turns before saying the password. He still looks angry and now confused. I reach him and try to catch my breath. He is looking at me expectantly.

"James I… I'm so stupid. I should have said yes ages ago."

He relaxed his posture slightly.

"I don't what happened back there my brain… I started thinking about how silly… Why I started… please forgive me?"

My mouth apparently is not as fast as my brain so what I think are fully formed sentences turned out to be that. It isn't until I repeat this in my head slowly that I realize why he is looking at me like I have three heads.

"I like you, I like you a lot and I'm sorry. Can I please be yours?"

He gives me his lopsided smile I love. He leans in and kisses me, deeply. When we finally pull apart he sighs.

"I knew it."

**A/N: I don't really know where this came from and I'm not completely sure I actually like it. It is really fluffy and not very well written in my opinion. It is a different style then what I'm used to I think, and overall I'm very skeptical about it. Tell me what you think though, please? :D**


End file.
